Conflict Problem-Solving at Holy Name of Mary
At Holy Name of Mary CES “Social Skills Enhancement” is important. One strategy used to help students learn how to better enhance their social skills is through teaching CONFLICT RESOLUTION. Conflict is a natural part of everyday life. Students need to learn at a young age about the ways conflicts can be solved independently and constructively, while maintaining the integrity of all parties involved. If we teach our children how to manage conflict now, they will be able to face it more diplomatically and more positively as they mature. Most educators will tell you that a happy student is one who is getting along with his peers. This concept of “getting along” is a skill and must be taught, reinforced and talked about. All students can have positive social relationships if we equip them with the language needed to express themselves. However, we need to first teach tolerance and acceptance of one another.
The 4 Steps to Solving Conflict
STEP 1: THINK!!!
• before you act, remain calm, set the tone
• what would consequences be if I reacted verbally or physically
• how do my actions demonstrate the kind of person I am or aspire to be (Christian-Like is the ultimate goal)
• avoid impulsive lashing out
STEP 2: ASK
• the person to STOP
• why the person said/did that
• be prepared to listen without interrupting
• if the person refuses to answer, allow some time, space
• if it is a significant conflict, come back to it
• if it is something insignificant, leave it alone
STEP 3: STATE YOUR FEELINGS
• remember to stay clam
• tell them to stop
• explain how you were feeling when you reacted
• admit your errors, take responsibility, apologize if necessary
STEP 4: RESOLVE THE CONFLICT OR SEEK TEACHER ASSISTANCE
• brainstorm solutions, decide which one is agreeable to both parties
• keep your word on the agreement
• look for a win/win resolve
*** If you are getting nowhere, seek staff assistance
In His life, Jesus constantly role modeled for us how important it is to be tolerant and accepting of all those around us, even if we do not agree with their ways. Jesus forgave sinners and always gave them a second change. Likewise, we are asked to believe that all of those around us image goodness of God and carry it out through their choices. TASR attempts to simulate Jesus’ vision for forgiveness and peace, for acceptance and tolerance of others.
When progressive discipline is needed to rectify a situation, we use Restorative Practices (RP) to assist in the healing. RP has three basic concepts: That when crime (or wrongdoing) occurs, the focus is on the harm that has been done to people and relationships. When harm has been done, it creates obligations and liabilities. Forgiveness and restitution are key.